The Never Ending Rumspringa

Ephram's Inbox


Yo, uh, sorry for being a douche at the store. As you know, I wasn’t in control of my actions. In fact, not only do I not remember anything that happened, everything I did was because I was under a compulsion. I don’t know where I met that guy, but, yeah, I was not in control of any of my actions, and I just wanted to make sure you knew that I’m not normally like that, you understand. So, yeah, just wanted to make it clear that I wasn’t in control of my actions, and so anything that happened I wouldn’t normally do.

So, uh, sorry.


You, good sir, are on my shit list. You cost me a lot of time and money, and ruined a very important venture for me. You owe me $120k for my ruined dancers, $9k for my wallet, $80k for my custom-made designer glasses, and $100k in fire damage, not to mention the unspecified loss-of-revenue caused from having to close the club for repairs.

I’ll make sure to collect what you owe. Current balance: $309,000.

Of course, we could always settle your debt in bed.

Rizwan Einziger
Owner and CEO of Bliss Nightclub Ventures



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