The Never Ending Rumspringa

It's just a delivery, right?

It never is...

Deborah gave me a call on Monday to give her a hand at the coven’s magic shop. Apparently she was swamped with work and needed me to deliver a package of supplies to a customer. It also turned out to be a test to see how I would interact with non-humans. To be honest, I was a little excited to finally get my feet wet. I took a cab to the location – some abandoned looking warehouse on Grays Ferry. It was right next to that broken billboard I always pass by and I swear it says, “Checks Cashed, Murders.”

I was met by Mr. Brogan, a goblin, and was suprised by his operation. About a dozen of other goblins working on a number of cars. Can you believe it? A goblin chop-shop. Aside from the fact they were goblins, it was pretty ordinary. Brogan signed for his package, but just before I could leave, a surprise shipment came through the warehouse door. It was this massive crate and whatever was inside kept slamming against the wood.

Then it happened. Tentacles burst through the wood and grabbed two nearby goblins. The whole place just erupted into chaos. All the mechanics pulled out their guns and turned the crate into so much Swiss cheese. It didn’t stop it though. The two goblins were pulled into the crate. I don’t know what happened, but the poor sods probably suffered horribly. Brogan ran out the door and I screamed to everyone to get out just as I started firing shots into the crate.

Before anyone could respond, the crate burst open and a massive tentacled beast with gnashing teeth stood in the middle of the warehouse. It was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen. It grabbed two more goblins, but everyone else was able to make it out okay. That’s when Brogan, that crazy bastard, came barreling into the warehouse slamming his car into the monster. Nearly killed him, too. Brogan went through the windshield and was out like a light. I barely managed to pull him out of the warehouse to safety after the monstrosity got a nasty bite on me.

Thank God I prepared the spells I had. I made the hand symbols the coven had taught me and mouthed the strange words for the Shield spell. I felt that weird tingle on the back of my neck and knew it had taken effect. I ran in and barely pulled off my Burning Hands spell as the Shield spell did its job and deflected the tentacled attacks. Fortunately, it seemed to do the trick and the tentacles made a sickening pop sound as they “snapped” off and dropped the other goblins. We hightailed it out of there while that thing wailed in its pain.

Brogan mourned the loss of Bill and Ted, but he thanked me for the help and said if I needed anything repaired or a ride, I could give him a call. He also clued me into a fighting ring he holds every Friday night and suggested I come and participate. And Deborah said I handled myself pretty well considering the extraordinary circumstances.

Now to take a nice long bubble bath and let myself heal up.



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